hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Randomize
