what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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