If that was your dad, he is hot
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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