Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize