There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
this is an emotional support booty call
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
