He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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