CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
