when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
