I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
