In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
