I can't breathe out the right side of my face
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
