I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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