hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You've changed since you got that strap on
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
