I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
whose parrot is this?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
