Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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