Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
