my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
