we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
