PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
