i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
