I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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