I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I party with great urgency now.
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