can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
