Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
