Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I had to cum in my sink.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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