Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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