Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.

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(407): View more from Florida

I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.

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(480): View more from Arizona

she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.

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(481): View more from

I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW

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(613): View more from Ontario

She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.

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(330): View more from Ohio

tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed

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(701): View more from North Dakota

He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE

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