***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
