i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
