Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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