I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
