you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
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He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
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I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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