We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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