careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
