Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
