so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Randomize