i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
were you high?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Help me help you realize you are a moron