Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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