It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.