I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.