I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
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I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
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Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?