Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold