I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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