Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
