shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
