i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
