his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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