I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize