There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
