that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
