she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
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Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
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It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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