Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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