She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
