YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
