saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
