I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I will pee on everything he values.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
