i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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