hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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