I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
