she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
