Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
