I accidentally had phone sex last night
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
